#CoupleGoals: What We Learn from TV Couples

Of all the TV show couples who have made you laugh and cry over the years, who is most like you and your other half? We have to admit, we’re even more obsessed with TV twosomes than rom-com pairs. Maybe it’s because we get to see their relationships evolve. Whether you come back to your characters week after week or spend a cozy weekend binge-watching, you get to see their highs and lows.

Some TV couples start as strangers, others as friends, some even enemies. But episode after episode, they confront challenges or comedic misunderstandings and only grow closer. It’s comforting to watch—but a good lesson for our own relationships, too. Who said TV couldn’t be educational? For a list of our favorite fictional flames, and what they teach us about love, read on!

Why we're obsessed with TV couples

#CoupleGoals. Anytime a heartwarming TV finale airs, or a new season drops on Netflix, we see this hashtag trending. So why do we connect with on-screen relationships so strongly? Some pairs have sizzling chemistry. Other glamorous duos offer escapism. Touching twosomes cause us to reflect on our own emotions and relationships. Comedic couples have us laughing and sometimes relating a little too much. But ultimately, they all give us couple goals to strive for.

How to keep conversations going

Of course our favorite TV couples have witty, sexy banter. After all, they have entire writers’ rooms scripting dialogue for them! It isn’t quite as easy for us when we’re at home on the couch and the screen goes dark.

So how do we keep conversations going when the episode is over?

Here are a few tips:

• Ask your partner to share their opinion on something
• Actually listen to their answer and pay attention instead of thinking about what to say next.
• Ask follow-up questions.
• When it’s your turn to share, start by finding common ground based on what they said, then branch out. Start with a fun question to get the conversation going.

Not sure where to start? Take a look at some of our favorite TV couples below.

Our favorite TV couples & what we learn from them

From slow-burn office crushes to time-traveling soulmates, TV couples give us every kind of love story. Some are healthy, some are chaotic, and some are mostly a warning label with good hair. But each one teaches us something about connection, communication, trust, and what it really takes to keep choosing each other after the season finale.

Jim & Pam: couple goals aren’t effortless

“Mixed berries.” Two simple, mundane words that represent so much. In the first season of The Office, Jim tells the camera he knows Pam’s favorite yogurt flavor. Pam lights up when she hears this, delighted that he cared enough to pay attention.

The perfect pairing of PB&J (Pam Beesley and Jim, of course) show us that love can blossom in the most unromantic places. They work in a boring office, but still manage to build chemistry through pranks and inside jokes. For TV characters, Jim and Pam are remarkably ordinary. Sure, they don’t wear fancy clothes or take exotic vacations, but they always see each other as special, and because of that they build an extraordinary love.
There are a lot of relationship lessons to learn from Jim and Pam, but the most important is that small gestures matter. So even when you’re busy with work, kids, or your boss’s bizarre awards ceremony at Chili’s, don’t forget to stock up on your better half’s favorite yogurt.

Fran & Mr. Sheffield: chemistry is fun, but communication matters

Opposites attract, and no one exemplifies that better than “the lady in red when everybody else is wearing tan,” Fran from The Nanny. From the moment Fran Fine showed up at Broadway producer Maxwell Sheffield’s Park Avenue door with a resume written in lipstick, there was an unexpected chemistry between them. But Maxwell was a reserved and wealthy British widower, Fran a flashy chatterbox from Queens.

So how did they make it work?

Appreciation.

When Maxwell saw the humor and warmth Fran brought to their home and his children’s lives, he made an effort to express it. After Fran realized that she compared her many dates to Maxwell, she saw that he valued her savvy and street-smart advice even more than her miniskirts. So, even if you’re a suit-and-tie type, and your partner loves leopard print, verbalize those special qualities they bring to your relationship and how much they mean to you.

Eleanor & Chidi: a TV couple who builds trust

Love isn’t always as easy-breezy as a 30-minute sitcom. Why? Because building an authentic connection means getting vulnerable and facing our own flaws.

No TV pair knows facing flaws better than Eleanor and Chidi from The Good Place. In this quirky sitcom, the two are paired up as soulmates in the afterlife. But, before they can enjoy eternity together, they need to face the mistakes they made in their mortal lives. Eleanor spent her life taking advantage of people and alienating her friends and family. She realizes she was rude and selfish, and asks philosophy professor Chidi to help her become a better person. Chidi was weak and indecisive, but Eleanor’s support helps him grow in confidence and take action to build a better existence for them.
“If soulmates do exist, they're not found, they're made.” Our favorite quote from The Good Place reminds us that nobody is perfect, or even perfect for each other. Healthy relationships become heavenly relationships when both partners own up to their flaws, accept each other’s imperfections, and work hard to build something better.

Monica & Chandler: real love can be unexpected

Love at first sight can be romantic, but we really can’t resist the “friends-to-lovers” trope. Building a foundation and getting to know each other is what we’re all about at Deeply! Monica and Chandler from Friends are a perfect example.

Throughout the early seasons, they’re neighbors and friends (well, obviously). They see each other through highs and lows, dating woes and work problems. Monica learns she can rely on Chandler for advice, humor, and even a very…unique…cure for a jellyfish sting. And Chandler learns how to handle Monica’s anxious and uptight moments. When they finally do get together, he tells her, “You're high maintenance, but it's okay, because I like… maintaining you.”
Maybe you didn’t fall in love with the guy across the hall, or the girl next door. But we can all see how love, like friendship, builds over time. An ideal relationship takes patience, consistency, humor, and tolerance of one another’s quirks. The most romantic promise you can make your partner might just be the title of the Friends theme song: “I'll be there for you.”

David & Patrick: supporting each other’s ambitions

On Schitt’s Creek, David meets Patrick when he goes to a local government office to incorporate his business. Except…David doesn’t actually know what his business is. He doesn’t have a business name, or even a business address. Surprisingly, though, Patrick believes in David so much that he even ends up investing in his business. They become business partners, and eventually husbands.

Of course, most couples don’t work together. But our careers are a big part of our lives, and supportive partners help us thrive. Patrick sees the potential in David early on and uses his own strengths—practicality and bureaucratic know-how—to help his business grow. Being a power couple (or, more importantly, a happy couple with rewarding jobs) means seeing the best in your other half and using your own strengths to help them.
At the same time, we all need to find work-life balance. Unlike Patrick and David, we can’t all spend our days running a quaint small-town boutique together. That means setting boundaries at work and making time for dinners, weekends away, and great conversation. Oh, and an enthusiastic rendition of “Simply the Best,” if that’s your thing!

Jamie & Claire: choosing each other at any age

Do you ever feel like you’ve been married for centuries? Well, Claire and Jamie from Outlander have been married for centuries...kind of. This time-travel drama puts the 1940s American nurse and 18th century Scottish warrior through the wringer: war, violence, disease, and family tragedy. But no matter what these two are battling, they’re always fighting on the same side. Claire and Jamie are both fiercely loyal to one another no matter the century or location.

Of course, the passion between them doesn’t hurt, either. No wonder Claire (spoiler alert) chooses to leave her life and return to a time before penicillin, TV, or deodorant! But we like to think their loyalty and trust laid the foundation for them to express their desire so fully (and steam up our screens).
Relationships are built on choices. After all, we choose our spouses, sticking by them through sickness and health, through decades and continents of change. We also choose to listen, to laugh, to forgive, to be curious even with someone we’ve known for ages. And, as Jamie Fraser himself says, “the sum of those choices becomes your life.”

Leslie Knope & Ben Wyatt: shared values bring long-term love

Sometimes a wedding dress says it all. In Parks and Recreation, Leslie Knope marries Ben Wyatt wearing a skirt made of newspaper clippings about her hometown of Pawnee and documents recording her political career.

“I love you and I like you” is our favorite phrase from Leslie and Ben’s wedding vows. But the two actually clashed when they first met. Ben came in to shut down the Pawnee government, and Leslie was frustrated when the programs she has worked so hard to create were put on pause.

They soon discovered that they were coming from the same place: Ben just wanted the government to work in the long term, because he was as passionate about small-town politics as Leslie.
What shared values brought you and your partner together? What goals do they have that you admire?

Tap into these core principles to deepen your emotional connection. Try volunteering, getting involved in community groups, or setting a shared goal like running a marathon. You’ll get to see your partner’s drive and passion in action while they support yours.

Sam & Diane: what not to do when it comes to trust

“You disgust me. I hate you.”
“Are you as turned on as I am?”
“More!”

This famous sitcom scene comes in the first season finale of Cheers. Macho bartender Sam and snobby intellectual Diane have been annoying each other all season, and finally their annoyance explodes into anger (and passion).

As memorable as this scene is (although certain dialogue hasn’t aged well!), we don’t recommend will-they-or-won’t-they dynamics in real life. Opposites attracting is one thing, but contempt and a lack of shared values don’t work. Diane thinks Sam is sexist and stupid; he thinks she is arrogant and irritating. Worse, they make no effort to compromise or build their physical attraction into something more through communication.
The moral of the story: resolving your issues like TV show couples is great; misunderstandings that could have easily been avoided with simple communication are even more frustrating in real life than on TV. And, unlike Sam and Diane, you can definitely make out without a fight beforehand, so get talking!

Beth & Randall: realistic marriage goals take work

It’s hard to watch an episode of This is Us without crying. Luckily, when it comes to Beth and Randall, they’re usually happy tears. The couple met in college, married, and had two beautiful daughters, but that doesn’t mean their relationship always ran smoothly. Even their first date was nearly ruined by a racist server at a fancy restaurant.

After that date, Randall knew he was going to marry Beth, but she wasn’t so sure. She even turned down multiple marriage proposals from him. But when she finally said yes, they committed to be together, communicate, and compromise.

Maybe the real reason Beth and Randall make us cry is because they are so real. Together, they face discrimination, grief, and the famously complicated sibling dynamics of the Pearson family. They argue, disappoint each other, and go to therapy. Ultimately, they're always trying to do better, and they never stop loving or being attracted to each other.

If you’re looking for marriage goals to model yours on, Beth and Randall are it! (Just don’t forget the box of tissues for your binge watch).

Luke & Lorelai: love is built in the everyday moments

Before Luke and Lorelai from Gilmore Girls became a couple, they had years of coffee refills, diner debates, town meetings, and perfectly timed sarcastic comments. Their relationship didn’t begin with a grand romantic gesture. It grew slowly, tucked into the everyday rhythm of Stars Hollow (a dream place to live for so many of us!).

Luke knew Lorelai’s coffee order, her moods, her habits, and probably her ability to consume alarming amounts of takeout better than anyone. And Lorelai knew that beneath Luke’s grumpy flannel exterior was someone loyal, steady, and deeply caring. Their chemistry was obvious, but what made their relationship feel so satisfying was the foundation underneath it: friendship, familiarity, and showing up.

Of course, Luke and Lorelai also teach us what happens when communication breaks down. These two could banter with the best of them, but when things got serious, they sometimes avoided the conversations that mattered most. Secret daughters, delayed weddings, emotional walls...Stars Hollow may be cozy, but avoidance still causes drama.

Real connection is built in the little rituals, but it survives because both people are willing to be honest when the plot gets complicated.

What these TV couples teach us about real love

What do all these very different TV couples have in common?

Consistency.

Each pair shows up for each other week after week, episode after episode, season after season. They face plot twists and drama, but always find a way to resolve things and move forward. They make it a habit to compromise and communicate.
But that doesn’t mean they stay the same. TV shows are interesting because the characters change.

• Monica and Chandler go from long-time friends to lovers. Jim and Pam go from co-workers to co-parents.
• Maxwell Sheffield learns to loosen his tie and have fun with Fran.
• Luke and Lorelai go from diner regulars and daily banter to something deeper, messier, and more meaningful.

But when you show up, open up, and listen to your partner, you evolve together, and your relationship only gets stronger.

Finding your ideal relationship (without the script)

So you don’t have a writers’ room or a guarantee that all your misunderstandings will be tied up in a neat bow every week. But you can still attain your couple goals. Real-life intimacy grows through curiosity and understanding, and by asking deeper questions, you help that grow.

How Deeply helps you write your own love story

Deeply is the digital conversation tool that makes emotional connection easy, fun, and real—no TV magic required. Our go-everywhere conversation prompts are thoughtful and surprising. Best of all, they’re specifically designed to get you talking, sharing, listening, and laughing. Before long, Deeply time with your other half will be the best part of your day. You might even skip a night of Netflix!

Find your next great episode together! Get Deeply and start your story tonight.